super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
