apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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