The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
