pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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