I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
