i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
