Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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