So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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