Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
