you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
