There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
