i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
