two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The best revenge is premature balding
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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