ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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