When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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