Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
did i just pee glitter
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
