her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
