Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
