i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
