I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
