She's JV to your varsity
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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