your parents love me but you hate me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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