He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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