Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
