after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
