That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
