Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize