There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
