Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize