So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
