i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
