Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
