Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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