awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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