Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
