I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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