I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
