Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
and you fell through a lawn chair
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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