Jerry, you need to find god
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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