I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
