have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
