Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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