when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
