i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
