This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
