Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
