You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
