that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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