I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
