she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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