ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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