i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
