you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
