He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
