This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Someone shit on the floor
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
