im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
