remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
