Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
