and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
