quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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