i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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